Snobbery, Tack and Last Minute Shopping

It's that time of year again. The time when I drag out the present box from under the bed to see what gems I can find that could be given away to save me a few quid this Christmas. The problem is my present box is filled with unwanted presents from the last ten years. I should really just throw them away; after all if they are too tacky for me to want to keep or use, then they are too tacky to give away.

But something in me tells me to keep hold of them - after all I might just be adding somebody to my Christmas list soon that appreciates tack. This is unlikely - since I choose my friends very carefully and tend to avoid tack-loving people where possible. Oh lordy this makes me sound really snobby - I really am not. Well - maybe a little bit - but not completely. I do have some tack-loving friends but I am way too snobby and proud to give people tack even if i thought they'd like it.

After a little self-analysis I think maybe the root cause of this apparent snobbiness is that I am worried they will think I like tack and therefore give me tack in return. This is just a waste of time since it will sit in my present box for the next ten years waiting. I have an image in my head of the little china bunny ornament or the Sponge Bob socks waiting patiently all year and then as I lift the lid each year, holding their breath expectantly - silently praying that this will be their chance of a new home with someone who will love them.

Apparently there is such a thing as a woman who completes her Christmas shopping in the January sales. I don't like that woman one bit. I am not one of those - it's simply not normal or attractive; it's smug and patronizing. I tried to be her once. I actually succeeded and wore a smug face all year safe in the knowledge that I could enjoy a stress-free December AND I had some complete bargains as well. My smugness lasted until about 3 days before Christmas when I got them out to wrap and changed my mind about almost every one. Too cheap, too cliche, too babyish, too big, too girly etc etc. I figure that last minute shopping is the way to go - that way you don't get a chance to change your mind.

Last Christmas Eve evening I was literally ushered out of the door of Next (see - no tack for me!). As I took solace in McDonalds with what was frankly a fairly hideous excuse for a coffee, I actually tearfully asked the unsuspecting and indifferent cleaner if Mcdonalds sold gift vouchers. Though in hindsight I am not sure my twin sister would have appreciated that very much. Rach ended up with a rather lovely pair of purple pyjamas taken straight from my chest of drawers (brand new and unworn). Rachel if you are reading this I am sorry I am completely intending to do much better this year - but as you know it's the thought that counts. I talk utter baloney sometimes - last minute shopping is so not the way to go but it's kind of comforting and it's what I know.

By the way in case you end up in McDonalds this Christmas Eve, they don't sell gift vouchers.

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