Random Thoughts

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When I'm An Old Lady

When I'm an old lady I'll have bright pink hair
I'll fart very loudly and really won't care

What others may think of my hair or my bowels
Or the fact that my whiskers stick out more when I scowl

Though scowls will be rare for the worries of youth
Will fade away fast along with my tooth

Talking of teeth, I'll not bother with that
And never again will I think I'm too fat

For each extra roll of blubber will be
Proof that my life was full and happy

I'll eat full fat butter and chew bacon rind
I'll even share if I'm feeling kind

When I was a teen my life was a mess
A battle of hormones, boys and school tests

My focus in life was my looks and my weight
I'd write down every mouthful I ate

The calorie content of every last bite
Determined if my day had gone right

I'd walk round the house trying to act tough
Inside i just wanted to be good enough

As an adult it was all about building my life
Getting married, children and being a good wife

Sometimes I did good, sometimes I did not
But I flippin well gave it my very best shot

I'll admit my two boys weren't the easiest
I just wanted for them the very best

Was I hiding behind the special needs label?
Or was their behaviour because I just wasn't able

To be the mum they needed me to be
To create the perfect family

When I'm am old lady, I'll have bright pink hair
I'll fart really loudly and really wont care

I'll write to the young me with wisdom because
I'll tell me that I was alright just as I was

I'll make sure I know all the things I have learnt
That love and acceptance are just there - they're not earned

That I didn't have to strive to be perfect
That despite cheap shampoo I am totally worth it

Now I look at my handsome boys - now grown
I remember the tears of love once sewn

I'll tell me about the men they've become
How incredibly proud I am to be their mum

Now that I'm old I'm not sure pink is quite right
Perhaps a little brash and slightly too bright

I'll stick to my God given colour instead
Maybe a slight tweak - maybe pillar box red

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Firsts...

This is a significant blog post for me. Significant for two reasons: Firstly, I am writing this blog straight from my iPhone onto the word press app. Now I know seasoned bloggers probably do this all the time, but for me this is significant.

Second, this is a result of me being tagged in someone else's blog. Get me!!! I don't usually fit well in the blogging world. Too many confusing rules and socially acceptable ways of doing things. I am too scared of offending someone or making a mistake - so I usually just jolly along doing my own thing. The very pulchitrudinous @himupnorth has tagged me so I shall humbly comply.

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A Right Royal Malarkey

I'm excited! Today has arrived. The kids are off school, the hubby is off work, the housework is on hold and an estimated 2 billion people will be pressing the pause button on their lives to watch history in the making as our very own Willy chops and Kate Middleton get married.

Now I have always had a slight affinity with Will as he was born on the same day as me - which I know sounds slightly ridiculous as every 365th person shares the same birthday. But I remember as a four year old that this royal baby had been born on MY birthday - and so I felt ever so slightly special. So there we are - Willy and I are on 'special mates' terms and as such I kind of feel like today my little brother is getting married.

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Room 101

Just need to vent about my pet peeves and consign them to room 101 - a fate worse than death (from the novel 'Nineteen Eighty-Four')...

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You Can Never Have Too Many Teaspoons

While washing up today I started to think about the things in life that you just can't have enough of... one thing that came to mind was friends - but you know - you can have way too many friends. And the liklihood is that only a few of them are true friends anyway. Too many 'friends' just clutters up your life and makes it unnecessarily complicated. Read more