When I'm An Old Lady
When I'm an old lady I'll have bright pink hair I'll fart very loudly and really won't care
What others may think of my hair or my bowels Or the fact that my whiskers stick out more when I scowl
Though scowls will be rare for the worries of youth Will fade away fast along with my tooth
Talking of teeth, I'll not bother with that And never again will I think I'm too fat
For each extra roll of blubber will be Proof that my life was full and happy
I'll eat full fat butter and chew bacon rind I'll even share if I'm feeling kind
When I was a teen my life was a mess A battle of hormones, boys and school tests
My focus in life was my looks and my weight I'd write down every mouthful I ate
The calorie content of every last bite Determined if my day had gone right
I'd walk round the house trying to act tough Inside i just wanted to be good enough
As an adult it was all about building my life Getting married, children and being a good wife
Sometimes I did good, sometimes I did not But I flippin well gave it my very best shot
I'll admit my two boys weren't the easiest I just wanted for them the very best
Was I hiding behind the special needs label? Or was their behaviour because I just wasn't able
To be the mum they needed me to be To create the perfect family
When I'm am old lady, I'll have bright pink hair I'll fart really loudly and really wont care
I'll write to the young me with wisdom because I'll tell me that I was alright just as I was
I'll make sure I know all the things I have learnt That love and acceptance are just there - they're not earned
That I didn't have to strive to be perfect That despite cheap shampoo I am totally worth it
Now I look at my handsome boys - now grown I remember the tears of love once sewn
I'll tell me about the men they've become How incredibly proud I am to be their mum
Now that I'm old I'm not sure pink is quite right Perhaps a little brash and slightly too bright
I'll stick to my God given colour instead Maybe a slight tweak - maybe pillar box red